In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
