Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i think i have herpe
just one?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
