i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
