he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
