talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
