You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
