She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My legs feel like baby dolphins
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
