You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
