Yo dont text me then not text me
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
And then he peed in my hair
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
