She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
