Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
