yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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