Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I party with great urgency now.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
