Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
