I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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