I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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