I just made out with a guy for $7.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
