So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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