so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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