I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
