She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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