Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
that's an acceptable place to lick
time to smoke my breakfast
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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