They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
