after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
