I'm really into asian looking animals
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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