I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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