Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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