Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry tifflynn29 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(754): View more from Florida

do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?

Fav 10 3228 1531
share tweet
(704): View more from North Carolina

I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.

Fav 39 5745 1040
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(563): View more from Iowa

Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.

Fav 17 1496 4060
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.

Fav 19 6748 1431
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off

Fav 4 778 1915
share tweet
(618): View more from Illinois

Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.

(309): View more from Illinois

Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?

Fav 4 1536 2667
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(206): View more from Washington

Gong!

(1-253): View more from Washington

YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT

Fav 17 4743 1055
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(336): View more from North Carolina

Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi

Fav 3 74 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(520): View more from Arizona

Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more

Fav 0 24 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT