god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
