well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
