Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
