I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
