If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
