I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
