Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
