So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
