That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
