I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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