can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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