Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
