im about as happy as oj after his trial
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Vodka?
Forever.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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