If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
