I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
