i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
