This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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