You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize