My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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