I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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