i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The adults are the big ones right?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
