So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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