With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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