dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
