I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
