So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Damn victory sex feels great
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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