also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
