Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
