addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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