Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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