Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
