apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
