No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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