Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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