It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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