When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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